having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
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We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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