New invention idea: vibrating tampons
well most of my day revolves around power hour
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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