Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
