she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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