she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
