I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Let's get the cat blown out
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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