Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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