Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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