Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
