North Korea, Best Korea!
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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