He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize