you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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