Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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