I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
