...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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