i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
