your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize