I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
