the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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