Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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