Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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