I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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