I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
They have beer where we have blood.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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