You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
