I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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