When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
where are you?
Hypothermia
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
