I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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