i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
