She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
