Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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