I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
