Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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