# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize