How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
