Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Your cock deserves a montage
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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