she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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