You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
