i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize