vagina is talking i cant
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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