Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
