we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
