I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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