Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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