the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
