I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
