put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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