i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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