kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize