when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
