Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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