Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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