I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
