babies were throwing up all over the place
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize