So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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